From: Kendall Vanderslice
How many are your works, O Lord! In wisdom you made them all; the earth is full of your creatures. There is the sea, vast and spacious, teeming with creatures beyond number—living things both large and small…These all look to you to give them their food at the proper time. When you give it to them, they gather it up; when you open your hand, they are satisfied with good things.
I’m currently in the bittersweet space of saying goodbye to a place that has been my home for several years while trying to maintain excitement for the coming phase. I’ve made multiple major moves in my life, some on my own and some with family. But even as moving has become a kind of routine, I’m still plagued by anxiety of the unknown.
In many ways, this coming move has been a beautiful image of God’s provision. Going to seminary and studying with a few particular professors has been a dream of mine for several years. Those who have prayed with me throughout my time in Boston and those who have followed my work and my writing encourage me by their own insight into the ways that this coming opportunity is God opening up His hand, asking me to be satisfied with the good things He is giving me. Offering good food at the proper time. It’s not the timing I had imagined, but it’s still God’s proper time.
But even as I see the ways God provides for all of His creation—from the creatures filling the vast and spacious sea, to the creatures covering the earth—I still find myself questioning if God will continue to provide for me. If God will continue to provide community, career opportunities, financial means, as I step into the next place He’s set before me.
Just two psalms before this one, the psalmist laments his distress before the Lord. My heart is blighted and withered like grass; I forget to eat my food…I lie awake; I have become like a bird alone on a roof. It is comforting to see that the psalmist can go so quickly from admitting lament to acknowledging God’s constant provision. To know that I’m not alone in my anxiety and my worry—but that I’m also surrounded by continual testament of God’s provision and God’s love.
I will sing to the Lord all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live. May my meditation be pleasing to Him, as I rejoice in the Lord.
I’m a baker and writer and soon-to-be seminary student. At the end of the month, I will be moving to Durham, NC to begin seminary at Duke Divinity, studying the intersection of food and theology. Follow my coming adventure at www.kendallvanderslice.com.