From Oksana Kastanda
"Why, O God, have you permanently rejected us?"
It feels familiar, right?
Would you and I recall all the times we thought we reached the end; we were on the edge of being done, we would come to a place where we feel like suffocating... and then, oh wow, God would miraculously do "Ta daaaa!" with our lives? Then all that suffering, hardship, disappointment, pain, horror, anxiety...disappears. Then it is not really true anymore that God had left us, right? It is only a feeling, an imagination, it is just an emotional resonance to what we see; we overstate everything when we hurt. But as to the spiritual reality, we are fine and Jesus is on the throne.
I myself am going through what I call "being stuck and pushed in the corner" situation.
You know how many times I would think that I am hopeless, that there's no way out of my condition? That there's no help left out there, that God is just, just so... far.
But honestly, would it be this way always? No. Is God far? Certainly no.
After each time God would prove His care and attention to me. I would get stronger in trusting the fact that God is able. And the only thing that should be done from my side is to lean on Him so hard that if He moves I would fall over.
I won't always feel this brave and hopeful, but I would always reserve a spot for this one fact that never changes: God loves me, He cares, He sees and He knows; I will come through and go out on the other side stronger and better, for His glory.
Just think of a risen Jesus, alright?
I am a 24 year old Ukrainian missionary in Boston. I am easily getting excited when I see ducks and kittens. I am also going to marry Mark Lamborn next month. I am excited about that too!